You Need to Check into the Asylum if ...
OK everyone, please channel your inner Jeff Foxworthy -- of "You Might be a Redneck" fame -- while reading the list below. Please do check and make sure your funny bone isn't bruised or broken before proceeding. In no particular order, and far from complete ...
If you've ever ....
Counted the carbs in celery, cucumbers, lettuce or spinach
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Freaked out over your blood glucose level going over 120 mg/dL after eating
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Binged on an entire bag of macadamia nuts and consoled yourself by noting that it was only 15g of carbs
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Blamed a few strawberries for a weight loss stall or weight gain
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Freaked out over finding HFCS on the label of a product containing 0-1g carb
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Eaten something with the first ingredient glycerin (aka the stuff of soaps and suppositories)
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Called tomatoes fattening
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Added coconut or MCT oil to your coffee as a supplement
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Added a half cup of dressing to your big ass salad and blamed the veggies for the weight gain
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Experienced a hypoglycemic attack and not eaten a few carbs to end it
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Been a dude checking your ketostick and discovered you're preggers
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Gone on a binge after your ketostick registered negative so all is lost anyway
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Agonized over whether to buy the low carb wraps with 7g carbs vs. 5g carbs
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Bought the wraps with 5g carbs even though they taste like crap and you really like the 7g ones
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Decided to binge because you found out a sauce you had at a restaurant contained a little sugar
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Uttered the words "Gary Taubes tells us ..."
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Argued there's no such thing as an essential carbohydrate in defense of a VLC lifestyle
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Added lots of fat to chicken with the skin on because it's too low fat otherwise
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Thought adding lots of fat to carbs is an effective weight loss strategy because it might reduce the BG response
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Eaten any fake chocolate sweetened with anything but good old fashioned sugar instead of Lindt Lindor truffles
... you need to check into the Asylum (really, you need to!)
If you've ever ....
Added more fat and calories to your diet to break a weight loss stall
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Thought Eades won the smackdown with Anthony Colpo
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Reacted horribly every time you've tried low carb but insist on trying one more time
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Weighed the same weight (or worse gained weight) eating low carb but are petrified of trying something else
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Uttered the words "calories don't count"
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Used the term "entropy" or claimed that the Second Law of Thermo negates the first in living beings
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Claimed that the First Law of Thermo doesn't apply to living beings because we're not closed systems
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Claimed that eating that 21st or 51st or 101st or 151st gram of carb is the cause of weight gain or stalling
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Eaten flax as a hot cereal
... you need to check into the Asylum (it's just disgusting folks!)
If you've ever ....
Claimed that a few grams of insensible water weight loss on low carb constitutes a metabolic advantage
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Claimed you're fat because you listened to the USDA
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Claimed low fat made you fat
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Eaten any "bread" item made with cheese and dipped/topped/filled it with more cheese
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Uttered the words "cephalic insulin response" and blamed it for weight issues
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Blamed too much protein on your low carb diet for weight gain/stalls
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Claimed Atkins was right all along
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Claimed ELMM (eat less move more) has been debunked
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Claimed calorie restriction doesn't work for weight loss but implemented a fasting protocol
... you need to check into the Asylum
If you've ever ....
Equated Weight Watchers to the SAD
... you need to check into the Asylum
Feel free to add suggestions in comments and I'll include when I update!
Comments
instructed your significant other not to allow medical personnel to start you on a glucose drip if you were to suddenly fall ill and become unconscious
... you need to check into the Asylum
;~)
I also wanted to say how nice it is around here! A touch of girliness but not too much to scare off the men.
Yeah, Steph, those whooshes trump feeling "right" every time, eh? I suppose every milligram counts as your hair falls out. And oh those experiments with coconut flour are awefully expensive ruinations at that! :(
Great stuff! Hahaha! Love it.
http://youtu.be/773hzYEq22s
if you ever did 5 colonics a week because you were told that you were overweight because your "Colon was toxic"... you belong in the asylum?
or...
If your doctor (who actually wasn't a doctor anymore because he lost his license in a mal-practice suit) told you to eat a jar of raw butter to cure your bleeding intestines.... and you did it... you belong in the asylum.
or...
if when doing a Cleanse you get headaches so debilitating you can't function and think this is a sign of "de-foxing" and not "starvation", you belong in the asylum.
Do I belong here? I definitely add cheese to cheese bread.
Thank you Evelyn!!! :)
Tak peduli kecil ataupun besar, klik selanjutnya kebersihan merupakan kunci utama terciptanya menata rumah yang nyaman untuk ditinggali. Tak hanya sebagai pelindung dari pengaruh luar seperti angin atap bocor, hujan dan kotoran, rumah adalah fasilitas sosial utama dalam suatu atap beton. Lalu apa saja kebiasaan sehat yang perlu diterapkan agar seluruh anggota keluarga makin nyaman berinteraksi dan beraktifitas di furniturenya?
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