Bull(sh)it Poop Cough-kee

Oh my lordie, last night I went to bed feeling like I had just spent the day in some alternate land of Woo Woo.  I was puttering about the house doing chores most of the day, checking in on the laptop (more than I should have!) from time to time in between.  Every corner I turned it seemed mangled science, marketing schtick and woo woo popped up like some hydra monster determined to relegate me to Grain Brain status. 

And then I awoke this morning to find this in my Facebook newsfeed.  It's a link to Dave Asprey's article in some online BeMore magazine article.  You'll want to type 33 in the top middle to go to the article.  I think we need a new award for cramming the most scientific crapola into the fewest number of words or something.  This guy would win, along with scam artist of the year.   Since I'm way under the weather today, let me take a few moments of convalescence to address this shiz.

In Summary/Response bullet list (see what I did there?) form:

• Fat is necessary for your body to metabolize fat efficiently. Citation please. This is total nonsense. Most of the fat your body metabolizes is not directly from the diet anyway, it is from fat stores. Actually it is more likely taken from fat stored locally in the cell.
• Eating more fat makes you a better fat burner. Citation please. There is no evidence for this. Eating fat does not stimulate fatty acid oxidation.
• Your body only has about 100g glucose onboard but then it burns fat. Someone needs to check his sources. Glycogen stores are thought to be somewhere in the 500g+ range in most. But your body is burning some fat all the time. All.The.Time.
• Blah bah blah regurgitates Phinneyisms about huge gazillion stored fat calories.
• How does your body burn fat for energy? The liver converts it to ketones. Umm Wrong. Most, likely well over 90% of your fat burning is done in your muscles and organs, in the mitochondria of those cells, in a series of chemical reactions collectively known as "the fatty acid spiral". The more technical term being beta-oxidation. When this occurs in the cells, the acetyl-CoA that is produced feeds into the Krebs (aka TCA) Cycle, then the FADH2 and NADH produced is fed into the ETC (electron transport chain) where ATP is generated. Some ATP is generated in Krebs directly. Dave Asprey knows this. If he doesn't he's even more of a scam artist than I've given him credit for. See: Ketone and Fat Burning are not the Same.
• Your body will use glucose before it turns fat into ketones. Yep! Because it is turning fat into ketones when it needs to replace glucose. Your body will, however, burn fat even in the presence of glucose, just not as much. 
• MCTs (medium chain triglycerides) can help you burn fat even when you eat carbs. Yes they can! Are you burning body fat? NO. Think about this Dave Asprey with the 20 added IQ points. If you are burning dietary fat, you are not burning body fat. Like alcohol, the body has no functional use for MCFA, so it must metabolize them in the liver and exports the Acetyl-CoA as ketones. There ya go. This is why so many of these VLC advocates are so hopped up on bullshit poop coffee. So ...
• A glop of coconut oil gets you back in ketosis for when you might give in to a craving for ... da da daaaah ... evil fruit! Wouldn't want to assault your liver with fructose for a quick energy burst. Better to slurp some highly refined vegetable oil that's utterly devoid of any micronutrients, phytochemicals, etc.
• You know what else enhances ketosis? Fasting. Who would have thunk it. But ladies, especially, enhance your fast with bullshit poop coffee. Just realize that this does not get you out of metabolic starvation mode. You're just hopped up on ketones and caffeine like a junkie on cocaine (hey ... goose gander!)
• Oh we've finally got to the cleaning of cells part and autophagy. Yeah, if you're restricting protein and carbs your body will scrounge around for spare parts before it catabolizes the whole cell to support your ketosis habit (goose, gander, remember!), but if you're downing shots of coconut oil, that's actually less scrounging needed to support gluconeogenesis. Think Dave. Think. Brain octane a little low?
• Your brain on ketones is just your brain. Unless you have epilepsy or other neurodegenerative disease, your brain is designed to run smoothly on glucose. Lots and lots of glucose. Roughly 125 grams worth a day. Maybe Dave's biohacked brain needs a few more to support that higher IQ he brags about.
• Less free radicals when you use ketones to produce ATP. Oh please do explain when ketones feed into the same metabolic pathways.
• Lastly, is ketosis dangerous? No. He gets the part of why diabetics develop ketoacidosis all wrong (wouldn't want to break a good streak), but blah blah ... we get it already: ketosis is not ketoacidosis. It is also not a preferred metabolic state or the body wouldn't slip out of it so easily!

Please folks.  Don't listen to this guy.  And now, I shall have another cup of coffee purchased at a warehouse store in a red plastic "can" and brewed in a drip coffeemaker.  In it I will put cream, and today I think I'll add some sugar!  My big conundrum is one packet or two....  Later folks!